You must have often heard that things get lost in translations. Well, they not only get lost but also messed up pretty badly (and funnily). When we go out of the country to some other which is not an English speaking nation, the restaurants are kind enough to provide the translation of their dishes. But sometimes the translators get too literal, translations taken too seriously. Given below are the menus from some restaurants which have been translated… well, let’s just say if they serve what the menus say, no one is going to eat at their place.
You might find it hard to believe but these are NOT photoshopped.
Would You Trust Them?
Not every Chinese word can be translated into the English language. In fact, there are a lot of words in a lot of languages which the English language doesn’t have any words for. So can you really blame the translator for not being able to find the correct conversion? At least this one translator was humble enough to accept that they did not know, unlike other translators who seem to have crossed lengths to make the dish appear as unappealing as possible, though funny. All the dishes look quite exotic in this menu actually.
Roasted Husband Anyone?
Well, you won’t just get a roasted husband, you’ll get a SIXI (read sexy) roasted husband. I think some women may end up ordering this dish for various reason- it could be because they are frustrated with their husbands and having this dish might make them feel avenged (fantasising the dish to be made of their own husbands) or because, well, who doesn’t wanna try a sixi husband, right?
The translator of this menu was probably not paid enough, consequently, they just gave up on translation altogether. I just wanna know which customer was daring enough to order ‘whatever’. This seems to be a replacement for when customers say ‘surprise me.’ Thankfully, given the other things on the menu, this looks like the beverages section so the risk factor is not that high.
Serving You With Knowledge
The thing is, no matter how unreliable a source of information on Wikipedia is, most people refer to it as the first thing on the internet when they wanna know something about anything. Maybe this restaurant is onto something- serving eggs with Wikipedia- how many places do you know where you can eat AND get unreliable information?
In this virtual world where there is no knowing what’s real and what’s not, this restaurant menu is doing things honestly. There is your chicken, like the usual chicken, KFC kinda chicken and then there is REAL chicken. And there certainly must be something really real about this because- notice the prices are also different. Another option that caught my eye on this non-vegetarian menu is Meatless. The one who made this menu got their paradoxes right.
Do You Have A Shallow Fried Baby?
I only wanna see how parents would reply to the questions their kids pose to them if they read this menu, “dad, what does a deep fried baby tastes like?” or “mom, does baby noodle have a baby in it?! Can I play with it too!!?” I would avoid the deep fried baby though… too many calories.
So Confused Right Now
If the pizza section had to be given a heading it could simply have been “Pizzas”. A normal person would naturally expect that there be various pizza options ahead. And yes a normal person gets confused with so many options but making it obvious right on the top of the menu kills the fun of getting confused between various pizzas.
Didn’t See That Coming
This is just something that happens in the Game Of Thrones. There is also chili made beside it, meaning that this is a restaurant special. This is just plain creepy. Even if the name read “For you and your family” it would have been acceptable but if I read this it in a restaurant, I’ll get up and leave the place… with my family.
The Mysterious Element
Absolutely nothing on this menu appears appealing to me, be it the pig feel of the pigtail or the cow feet and definitely not the cow something. What part of that cow is something? The tongue? The stomach? The udders? The tail? My imagination cannot help but run wild, in all the wrong directions.
That’s Not Cool, Chicken
I think a lot of people would just order this dish to show the chicken that it’s not cool being rude and unreasonable and it is dead and can really do nothing to save itself from being eaten so it might as well be polite and reasonable because the next morning it is only going to end up in a dump.
What A Tough Choice
I know some people eat cats. I can’t even begin to imagine what these cruel creatures (don’t hate me cat lovers, it’s true and you know it) would taste like. But here there is meat fried cat ear. To make the choice easier for you, the other option is the fries PULLS OUT the rotten child. Where do I begin, with the rotten child or the fries pulled out of it? Cat ear sounds better now doesn’t it?
Are you not having a hard day when you want to? Are you hungry on top of that? Well here is your answer for both. Viagra prawn warp will do all that you need it to do. I really did not know that we have advanced so much as a race that we have found innovative ways of administering viagras. We are truly progressing.
I’d Personally Prefer A Cone
Apparently serving icecreams in cones have become last year. Nowadays, at least at some places in the world icecreams are served in the as*. If you are into kinky stuff then this is the place to be. All you gotta make sure is that whatever you are being served in, is clean, not an as*hole. Because let’s face it, even if some people are being comfortable with being served in as* as a container, no one is by being served in its hole!
That Would Be A Little Hard No?
The more I look at this image the more grossed out I feel, and the fact that I am a vegetarian has little to do with it. Which part of the bullfrog has been fu**ked out here? And how the hell was it done in the first place? Do these translators do this on purpose just to mess with our heads or do these dishes born out of bestiality really exist?
How Do They Know It’s Sweet?
If I ever order an a*s, I would want that it be more neat than sweet. You know neat, without any… umm hairy substance. How do these people even know their as* is sweet? Did they taste it? Add extra sugar to it? Or is it just how as*es tastes in general? On second thoughts the menu could just mean a sweet ass (donkey).
Bestiality level: Supreme
There is kinky and then there is bestial. Then there are even levels of bestiality. These translators seem to be in the need of translators. If my logic speaks rightly, then probably the menu meant something like “pounded/minced duck”. Because keeping something on the menu that explodes after fu*king seems too extreme to be a food.
This Dish Needs To Be Sued
Well… this is a Chinese menu. And China and Germany never really got along. China declared war on Germany in 1917 and the Germans never really were fans of communism. This is to provide you with a context and help understand that this translation is not necessarily innocuous; there could be some hidden frustrations behind it. Imagine how it would feel like ordering this- “I’ll have one Germany sexual harassment please!”
The Crap’s Gonna Be Tangy
You might have told someone or heard someone being told in frustration, “Eat Horse crap!” Here is sh*t getting real and with a tinge a lime. Eating horse is too mainstream, eating its cr*p is the in thing.
Lengths Of Desperation
Someone we all know famously said, “Grab ’em by the p*ssy”. But what about equality? Learn from this menu which promotes “Grab ’em by the c*ck”. This is not a typo, because the person has misspelled coke in every item; this is an example of education failure. Unless… they are offering what they have written in which case, I’ll go for cock light for breakfast.
Now That’s Just Gross
Even if they put cow’s or fish urine (how did they even manage to collect the fish urine?) in the dish why to publicise it! No person in their right mind or even in their wrong minds would order a urinated BOLL rice noodles. And rice AND noodles? It is definitely not something I would be keen on trying anytime in the near future.
Not only is it plain gross but borders on harassment. What if someone wants the pork loin dry? Do they still have to give their juice for it? What if their juice gets mixed with someone else’s juice? Would you risk eating the pork loin in anyone else’s liquid but your own? There is also no clarity on which juice is the dish referring to. Because humans generally secret two kinds of those.
Talk About Cruelty
Not only in the restaurant promoting cannibalism, murder, and other criminal offenses but also branding it as their best! The audacity! Why, oh why no one proofreads these menus? In this age of the internet, it is easy to hire a freelancer for decent rates online.
Something For All
So this one is a typo (or so I think). This should have read hummus, it would make more sense. But what if this is not a typo? This restaurant is not only promoting cannibalism but is also homophobic. But let’s just give them the benefit of doubt and go with the first explanation.
Only Because It Is Funny
So this does not fit the requirements of this list. Neither is it a translation fail nor a typo but come on, how will you react if you read this on a customer’s profile? Which delivery person would wanna go here with the looming uncertainty of having a small or no tip as a result of interrupting this Mr. banging his missus?
Not For Me Please
Even though we know it’s a typo, it still grosses us out. And the double M just makes it appear intentional. Anyway, personally, I am not going to risk ordering a cocktail whose name starts with cum…
The L Was Not Wolking
I want to believe that the keyboard’s R key was not working and the menu was supposed to mean fRied Rice. But then I noticed the menu more carefully and the ‘r’ seemed to be working in the marinated eggplant. So are these people really serving some sort of lice? Why would someone want to eat something that they can’t even tolerate being on their hair?
As Topping Or As Sides?
I am not really sure what the heading means but I am pretty sure that the option below onion cannot be right. It could have initially been intended as Peas, or Pears, Potato or Peaches or just about any other vegetable or fruit starting with P but a p*nis.
Like, Right Out Of It?
Usually, this section reads- from chef’s corner. Because carrots, broccoli, grilled sweet potatoes, aromatic herbs all can’t come out of chef’s crack, not individually anyway. Innovation and all is alright but one must reread what using a synonym of the corner would sound like.
Not the piece of just a human leg but a female kid and that too that has been baked in the oven. But it doesn’t stop at that. It is served with something called 2 layers of ashamed po. Nothing in this translation makes no sense. And I am not even talking about the lack of appropriate commas.
Preparing Them From Childhood
It’s important to raise our children in accordance with the adult world, letting them know what is expected of them, making them aware of what they can expect from the world. But this? This is making them enter into the dark adult world. No parent wants to take their kids out for alcohol unless… no, no unless.
Between The Buns
One doesn’t really open one’s burger to check what’s in there. But if I am to get such explicit information about its content I’ll stop ordering burgers altogether. Just hope they clean the beef’s Anus before serving it to people.
Only Cheese Girl
There is no way you could have known that there are so many types of girls out there. Typo? I don’t think so. Don’t know how many people would order from here but it certainly would have given them all a hearty laugh.
Imagine just having had dinner and picking up the menu to order a delicious dessert. Then imagine having read “chocolate puke” on the menu- do you imagine something brown, semi-solid and gross and does that kill the craving for eating anything at all? It sure did work for me.
This Is How You Make Money
This is a genius move. No translation fail, no typo. People asking stupid questions at a restaurant is inevitable? Why not make money for the time they waste? This not only will decrease the number of stupid questions asked but also make money on the questions asked. I suggest every dining place to add this to their menu.
Stuffed With What?
What the hell is p*ssy a typo for? Thef only thing that this recipe is stuffed with is laughter. Also, I really do not dig the expression this chef is giving- like he/she knows what’s written on the menu and he/she knows that you know that is exactly what he/she means.
Is It Really Joyful?
No one likes their private bedroom talk being publicised in public. And there is only one thing rather two things one imagines when one sees the word ‘balls’ anywhere, club it with the word suck, you are really intending the customers to get the innuendo.
I would not even bother to read through this menu because the font is so boring. On top of that if I see “cat-piss sause” in wrong inverted commas- I would offer my freelance services to the restaurant owners but first I’ll ask them if they serve this shit for real.
Fun Fact You Never New
Knowing fun facts about animals is definitely an icebreaker for a conversation but if you ever say to anyone that squids have a mustache they will not only consider you stupid but stop hanging out with you altogether. Just how would a squid appear with a mustache though.
You might have had chicken fingers but have you ever had kids’ fingers? Whose kids, you ask? We have no freaking clue.
The description of ‘Dhai Baigon’ sounds so violent! An aborigine round cut, marinated then shallow fried. As if aborigines have not been tortured enough in the history.
Hope you enjoyed this compilation. We sure did enjoy collecting the most bizarre, funniest but mostly gross menu translations for you!